30 December 2013
My first year of high school was definitely one of my hardest years ever. I was relatively new to the whole teenage scene, but really, everyone has been through that awkward phase in life once before.
There were these group of girls that I wanted to be friends with. To say that they messed up my life back then was an understatement. They destroyed my social life in such a thorough manner that, even now, I can't believe that I tried to make amends with them. Only now do I realize how futile it was to try and be friends with them.
From the moment that they started to destroy my life at school, my life elsewhere went on a downward spiral. My grades were bad, I started not talking to people. I had no one to talk to. Life could just be described in one phrase: It was bad.
At this hard period in my life, I met this girl Barbara. She was a senior at the time, and I had always admired her. Even now, I hold this admiration for her and the sense of confidence that she exuded. One day when I was waiting for my parents, I talked to her about my problems, and she gave me advice. Although I don't remember exactly what she told me that day, I knew that I resolved to someday be as good as her.
She was my role model throughout those hard times. Last night, I debated whether or not to message her on Facebook, telling her what a great influence she was on my life. In the end, I deleted my entire message, not wanting to be awkward, since we had fallen out of touch. At that moment, I really wished we had remained friends.
Even today, I don't know if I could say that I am a successful person that people hoped that I could be. I mean, there are moments that I am proud to say that I can be successful, but then there are moments, especially when I'm alone, that it feels as if I've messed up in the biggest way possible.