I've waited for my fair share of people and things. I'm usually a patient person when I know when I'm going to get something.
An example. If I know that I'm getting food at 2 P.M. today, I can patiently wait for the food. If I know I'm getting a new phone in 3 months, that's alright. If there is a concrete timetable for getting what I want, then everything's cool.
What I find most frustrating is when I have to deal with people. People are unpredictable. I can't really tell if they like me or dislike me. It's a tight line that I do not enjoy walking. There is a certain kind of feeling that you get when you feel as if you're annoying someone, but you don't want to stop talking to them. In these situations, I feel like a loser that is socially awkward. At least when you're talking online you have a couple of seconds (or minutes) to think.
Until they stop responding to your messages.
There are instances, some of which I am dealing with right now, that require me to wait for people. I guess one reason why I am so nervous waiting for other people is that I can't read people. When I say "read people", I mean reading in between the lines in what they do or say. I can't get "signs" that well.
I've taught myself to not to judge people until I completely understand what they're all about. And to be honest, I do try to do that with everyone that I meet.
But I guess my main problem is waiting for people to reciprocate my feelings for them. I believe it is safe for me to say that we all have had that one (or maybe even more than one) relationship where the other person doesn't feel the same way about you that you feel about them. More likely than not, you just want to curl up into a corner and cry, mainly because there are just a bunch of wasted feelings lying around.
Sometimes, I ask myself why I give my feelings to other people so easily. It took me a while to come up with this answer, but the truth is that like everyone else, I want to be loved back. I want someone to call me in the middle of night and tell me how much they miss me. I want someone to be there for me no matter what the circumstances are. It's the feeling of being forever alone that is getting to me.
Everyone needs someone to be there and listen. I've waited for many people to give back some of the concern that I've shown them. But I still don't trust anyone to not judge me when I show them what can be called the "real me" I guess. It's a fear that has been drilled into me unfortunately.
Its just a thought that I had. Waiting for people is hard.