02 November 2013

Waiting for People


I've waited for my fair share of people and things. I'm usually a patient person when I know when I'm going to get something.

An example. If I know that I'm getting food at 2 P.M. today, I can patiently wait for the food. If I know I'm getting a new phone in 3 months, that's alright. If there is a concrete timetable for getting what I want, then everything's cool.

What I find most frustrating is when I have to deal with people. People are unpredictable. I can't really tell if they like me or dislike me. It's a tight line that I do not enjoy walking. There is a certain kind of feeling that you get when you feel as if you're annoying someone, but you don't want to stop talking to them. In these situations, I feel like a loser that is socially awkward. At least when you're talking online you have a couple of seconds (or minutes) to think.

Until they stop responding to your messages.

There are instances, some of which I am dealing with right now, that require me to wait for people. I guess one reason why I am so nervous waiting for other people is that I can't read people. When I say "read people", I mean reading in between the lines in what they do or say. I can't get "signs" that well.


I've taught myself to not to judge people until I completely understand what they're all about. And to be honest, I do try to do that with everyone that I meet.

But I guess my main problem is waiting for people to reciprocate my feelings for them. I believe it is safe for me to say that we all have had that one (or maybe even more than one) relationship where the other person doesn't feel the same way about you that you feel about them. More likely than not, you just want to curl up into a corner and cry, mainly because there are just a bunch of wasted feelings lying around.

Sometimes, I ask myself why I give my feelings to other people so easily. It took me a while to come up with this answer, but the truth is that like everyone else, I want to be loved back. I want someone to call me in the middle of night and tell me how much they miss me. I want someone to be there for me no matter what the circumstances are. It's the feeling of being forever alone that is getting to me.

Everyone needs someone to be there and listen. I've waited for many people to give back some of the concern that I've shown them. But I still don't trust anyone to not judge me when I show them what can be called the "real me" I guess. It's a fear that has been drilled into me unfortunately.

Its just a thought that I had. Waiting for people is hard.

18 comments:

  1. You shouldn't worry about what other people feel. It's out of your control. The only thing you should concern yourself with is how you react and how you treat others. Loneliness is a choice also. You can choose to focus on more positive things and leave the negative emotions behind you.

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  2. It just shows how different people are. If we wait for reciprocation, we might find ourselves disappointed. The main thing is that you surround yourself in a positive environment. A comfortable comfort zone rather than an uncomfortable comfort zone. Find the yaysayers amongst the naysayers.

    Gary :)

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  3. As a teacher, I spend a tremendous amount of my time waiting for people. STudents to show up for meetings or exams, faculty members to send me stuff. It is exhausting.

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  4. I completely sympathize. It's makes me wary to be around people because of it. Yet now that I have a child, and I want to give him a well-rounded life, I can't hide out in my office anymore. Have a good weekend.

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  5. You express the struggles of humanness with grace, Gina. If nothing else, I hope you feel good about that. We can all relate.

    xoRobyn

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  6. I gave up on people a long time ago. I don't have high expectations. I do not say this in a negative sense at all. If people perform, they have exceeded my expectations.

    I just try to love people where they are for all their failures and frailties.

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  7. And I recognize your image as California Adventure.

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  8. So true. I don't worry about it that much anymore. I don't hang around with that many people any more and mostly just have online contact. I do what I do and hope somebody does nice things for me sometimes. When I have expectations I am setting myself up for disappointment.

    Lee
    Can dreams predict the future?
    A Faraway View

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  9. The breakthrough for me came when I decided I didn't actually care what people thought of me - I am who I am... and people like me for it. The people who don't like me, well they just stay out of my way. It's such a cliche, but it's true (while, ahem, is why it's a cliche, I guess) people will like you when you are comfortable with who you are. That may happen tomorrow or next year, but it will. I was 17 and a half - but I think I was lucky it happened so young.

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  10. True, but then sometimes the wait is worth it. What you don't have to wait on is yourself. You have control of that. Take care of yourself and others without thought of return and you can be pleasantly surprised eventually. :)

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  11. LOL! I'm a total wreck as I analyze every possible way a phrase could be taken or meant. I think there are better things to stress over. I share your thought--the waiting is hard. It's so easy to forget people just get caught up in the craziness of their lives and aren't necessarily putting you off.

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  12. Waiting can be difficult and controlling others is not possible, except in movies and books. All you can do is control you and how you let other affect you.

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

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  13. Waiting for people to reciprocate your feelings. Interesting. Maybe it's because I'm old now but that kind of things doesn't usually bother me anymore. I've learned there are just some people we will never connect with. Even if I think we could, there's no point in pushing it. Like sending out queries on a book. The best thing to do is start on a new book so we don't fret (so much) over the first one while we're waiting.

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  14. Waiting can be a challenge, that's for sure! I agree, waiting on people sometimes is harder still. I try to view it as an opportunity to build character. Some days I do better with this than others. :) Good to see you at my blog today. Have a great weekend!

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  15. It is hard. And this is something that gets easier as you get older. I think sometimes we're attracted to people who aren't necessarily good for us--both platonic and romantic. For whatever reason, we're drawn to them, but they can't always return the attraction. These are the people we have to be careful of, because the relationship will always be one-sided. Thru out my growing years (i'm about to turn 40) I've learned to recognize these types of people for what they are, and I limit my time with them. I've found real relationships of value that are worth so much more, that I'm able to see these other types in a different light. And I've never regretted separating myself from them.
    On a separate note, when I met and fell for my husband, he was in a long relationship with a childhood love. I did wait for him, cuz I had that gut feeling inside that he was THE one. And you know what? It was right. His relationship failed, and I was there when it did--not just waiting around, mind you, but backstage so to speak. Then our friendship became even stronger.

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  16. Ugh. Waiting for something without a clear timetable is one of the hardest things (like querying...). Plus, when you're waiting for a PERSON, and it's important, it gets even harder. Hang in there!

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  17. While occasionally, there are rewards that come with waiting, I think it's best to keep in mind that that there are many options out there for whatever goal you have, and you don't need to just wait on one person or thing to fulfill that goal.

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