08 August 2013
One time a couple of months ago I turned to thinking about what my life has become and where my life is headed. In my mind, I wondered if Alice would be proud of me, my decisions, and where I am currently in life.
For the most part, I felt that she would be disappointed in me.
I didn't have much to "show off" as I would say. Of course, there was my blog, which is something to be proud of. I truly believe that she would have been proud of the fact that I found that I really enjoy writing. But other than that, I simply didn't see where I could have made anyone proud of me.
As I sat in my room listening to the rain and wind make my window shudder, I continued to think along these lines. How ashamed she must be of me having messed up freshman year of high school.
Then I realized that I might be too pessimistic and bitter. I guess I turned into into a bitter person without me realizing it as time went on. It's as if this filter went over my eyes and turned me into someone that I didn't want to be. The bare fact that people have hurt me and weren't there for me didn't help with my view of how people are in society.
Gradually, I realized that in order to make Alice proud of me was to improve upon myself and meet my full potential as a person. By cutting off "toxic" people and try to get a new view upon the world, I believe that I'll definitely turn out better than I ever expected. Now, I honestly try to be there for others when they need me, just as Alice was there for me.
I guess the best way I can help remember Alice is to try to be as good to others as she was to me.